to myself

you never know what will happen. life goes up as they say and it also goes down. in life you will just sometimes feel lost, but God will always be there to guide you. well i truthfully am crazy lost i don't know where to go. i am useless i feel a lot. i feel really lonely. i see my sisters go out. i am pretty jealous you have so many friends and they a like you A LOT. they are all really nice (in some ways or as they appear). though how my sisters treat them is really pained to me, for me that i have nowhere to go, no one asking me to spend time with them, its the rarest things that happen to me. barely invited to any birthday parties in my childhood. barely invited out from friends. friends don't really go out of their way for me, but i try my best to. my sisters barely even touch my home sometimes, and i live in it for basically the whole of my break unless there is some kind of family party, christian event, or some lesson or extracurricular. oh how i miss spending time when i was young where it was understandable to be at home. one childhood memory sticks in my head playing at my friend jasmine's house those days were probably the best times of my life where imagination was at its peak.