hmmm....thinking about life so far

well right now my sister is back...pretty nervous since i had slight quarrel with her on this blog. I know she is my sister that she only means the best and I wish her to know that through everything I still love her even though I may not like the way she may go through her life, but that is pretty equal to how she looking at my life. how queer? lol :). I saw her today and just thought that she was very pretty though I was trying to avoid her, even seeing her because I was afraid and even with only that one glance, I couldn't help but smile at her beauty lol...this is awkward isn't it. This week was pretty fun though I disappointed my coach on monday at my volleyball game but we impressed her in the game after that so...so far we are doing pretty well in volleyball (PCA). Report cards are heading its way here my physics and bio mark will not be good lol. i didn't make tc captaining though I am sad, I'm still doing my best. I have a lot of stuff going on I think God has a reason for this :).

quote 12 year old anon

you have known your friend so long and love them so much, and then all of the sudden you are so mad at them, you say, I could just kill you and you still like each other, because you have always been friends and you know in your mind you are going to be friends in a few seconds anyway.

quote anon

a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

quote 15 year old anon

a really tight friendship is when you start to really care about the person if they get sick, you kind of start worrying about them or if they get hit by a car.
an everyday friends, you say, I know that kid, he or she's all right, and you don't really think much of them. but a close friend you worry about more than yourself, well maybe not more, but about the same.

quote M. Hulburd

Character is so largely affected by associations that we cannot afford to be indifferent as to who and what our friends are. They write their names in our albums, but they do more, they help make us what we are. Be therefore careful in selecting them; and when wisely selected, never sacrifice them.

quote Ed Cunningham

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.

quote Dee Brestin

I cannot count the number of times I have been strengthened by another (person's) hug, appreciative note, surprise gift, or caring questions my friends are an oasis to me, encouraging me to go on. They are essential to my well-being.

quote Martbie Babcock

If you can help anybody even a little be glad; up the steps of usefulness and kindness, God will lead you on to happiness and friendship.

quote Robert Schuller

In time we can accept a great loss if we have somebody loving us through it. god sends friends and companions to love and support us.

quote Cecil Osborne

God's forgiveness and love exist for you as if you were the only person on earth.

Romans 12:16

Live in Harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

quote Jean Bouilly

Whatever one possesses becomes of double value when we have the opportunity of sharing it with others.

quote MTeresa

If faith is scarce, it is because there is too much selfishness in the world, too much egoism. Faith in order to be authentic, has to be generous and giving. Love and faith go hand in hand.

now now now

right now i'm back at pca, pretty amused and entertained really with the friends who will forever develop and the new experiences i share with them waiting to see what happens. very exhausted mentally (sap, bible, eng, math, 3 sci, praise team, fideles, vocal, piano, sna, captaining) and physically (phys ed, volleyball, conditioning). tc worship, it was sad that i didn't make it, but like grade 11 stress, I saw it coming. but i'm glad i'm able to do all that and still be functioning. life in itself is fine, but i know its going to be a very bumpy road. where you will need to persevere to the end and Hope in the One who knows all and is the Grand Weaver of Life, Time, Creation, etc.

at this point

at this point, I would really wish my sister never came back from university.
judging me everyday by each and everything i do say in the present and the past.
not caring about how i feel that all her words are hurtful, that make her a jerk, that make me want to die so everything can end.
I'm always wanting to be selfless and giving to the ones I love, care about, treasure, thankful to, but all she wants is for me to be more selfish which is a complete oxymoron.
For someone who basically drifted from her faith, losing her morals, no selfcontrol, I really don't want to listen too at this point in my life because all its doing is causing me pain.

family

my family kind of well basically outright sucks. fighting everyday, there really wouldn't be a day without some kind of argument or fight to break out. i no longer live for my family. they do not treat me like a person should be treated. they always tease me about all the aspects of my life. the past that should be forgotten the repetitively bring up. the memories that they can't remember and i only i can of which they insist that they aren't real. if i were to criticize them they would die from all i have to say to them. they are jerks who only know how to ruin my life by judging me and not accepting me for who i am. hypocrites who only know how to mock and criticize others. i can't really properly live my life with them here. they don't realize the things i am, the things i've done, the talents i have, never acknowledging my important in existence. always calling each other a problem when they are practically the source of the all the family's problems.

Quote Aristotle

In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the old they are a comfort and aid in their weakness, and those in the prime of life they incite to noble deeds.

July 24 verse Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friends can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

quote #16 Lois Wyse

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.

July 8 verse Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord you God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He rejoice over you with singing.

Quote #15 Harriet Stowe

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they out to be done.

Quote #14 Anonymous

Blessed are the ones God sends to show His love for us - our friends.

Quote #13 Eleanor Roosevelt

If you lose money you lose much, if you lose friends you lose more, if you lose faith you lose all

Quote #12 Mother Theresa

We have been created in order to love and to be loved.

Quote #11 Beverly LaHaye

Friends are an indispensable part of a meaningful life. they are the ones who share our burdens and multiply our blessings.

quote #10 Arnold Glasow

Happy is the friend who knows what to remember of the past, what to enjoy in the present, and what to plan for the future.

quote #9 anonymous

friends are angels who lend us their wings when our wings have forgotten how to fly

some pondering thoughts

whenever i cry, i just feel pain at my heart. i have cried a lot in the past.in a lot of ways crying is a way of healing for the heart. people say boys and men shouldn't cry, but what is really wrong with crying. there really isn't. if one does not cry it means they are holding back their emotions making them almost not human. why is it that girls get to cry and guys can't. why is it that a girl can hit a guy making it almost okay whereas for a guy to hit a girl it is the most terrible act ever. recently my sister's friend and his brother, from what i heard, committed suicide. its the first person whom i have met before that has died in my life. never really experienced the death of person who i know. what's even more painful the person had the same name as me. and the people who have the same name as me that i know, i feel a connection to them and those that are older than me, i look up to them and wish that i knew them better. when i heard them, i went to a basement and sort of cried in prayer for them because its really painful especially if you don't know if they have encountered jesus yet. i wish they could be given another chance at life to life for Jesus. may they rest in peace and i give my condolences. i hope that they are in heaven..i reeally hope they are in heaven.

ello

haven't posted in so long. but ya basically finished exams. only french exam to go. going back to pca. pretty content now. well honestly i'm really excited its like i was used to and i was before, i'm very excited for the start of a new school year already. summer is almost hear. my exams were okay i guess, don't know how i did until i see, its all a mystery to me. this week should be good just have to get pass the oral exam.

my sister

my sister came to me today to talk about me going back to pca. it was a tough conversation since i was also trying to do my essay. i definitely want to go back to pca and a i need too.

May 29 verse Romans 12:9-10

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves.

Quote #7 Susanna Wesley

Give God the praise for any well-spent day.

May 25 verse 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

May 21 verse Psalm 91:1

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

May 17 verse Ephesians 4:32

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

May 13 verse Ephesians 3:17-19

this is a bit late but its okay

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

pca for life

i'm really planning to go back. i feel i need to and i want to. i miss it so much. the only thing basically in the way is my mom because she is basically saying no

workload

i just hate when in school teachers just suddenly all in one to two week pound homework, assignments, and projects on you. procrastination just keeps getting worse. about 5 and half weeks left of school

May 9 verse Proverbs 3:3-4

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and good name in the sight of God and man.

quote #8 anonymous

a friend is a close companion on rainy days, someone to share with through every phase...forgiving and helping to bring out the best, believing the good and forgetting the rest.

May 5 verse Romans 12:1-2

In view of God's mercy...offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy, and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Quote #7 Wendy Jean Smith

My fried. You never expect too much of me. You are glad when I succeed, but failure makes no difference to you. You give me all the help you can-but, more important you are simply there.

notes during my 40 day journey

God continually tests people's character, faith, obedience, love, integrity, and loyalty...Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. You are always being tested. God contantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, and even the weather! He even watches the simplest actions...A very important test is how you act when you can't feel God's presence in your life. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don't sense his closeness...nothing is insignificant in your life...Every day is an important day...

May 1 verse 1 Corinthians 13:7

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

April 23 verse 1 Thessalonians 5:13-14

Life in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

30hr Famine

Hey everyone reading this

I'm doing 30hr famine and I would greatly appreciate it if you support the event by sponsoring or donating to me.

Please and Thank You!
God Bless!

April 19 verse James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the FAther of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Quote #6 Anonymous

Through the eyes of our friends, we learn to see ourselves...through the love of our friends, we learn to love ourselves...through the caring of our friends, we learn what it means to be ourselves completely.

April 15 verse Hebrews 10:23-24

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

pca and times

school has been rough or hard. my teachers are not good, well i don't like them like my last semesters. i went to pca after school, it was amazing to see everyone again after a long time. i miss it so much, just being there was very nostalgic. i just wish i could go back. that warmth. that trust. that comfort. i played volleyball and talked with friends which made me feel good. these days have been really tiring because of badminton so in class i've been drowsy with heavy eyes from time to time. my french teacher called my mom for not really paying attention, but it was hard especially if everything was french it takes a lot of concentration. hopefully things get a bit more peaceful.

April 11 verse Galatians 6:9-10

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

sunday

today felt like a waste though it wasn't terrible. i'm planning on pulling an all nighter though i really don't want to but i probably have to cuz i have a lot of things i have to do and that i want to do. there is a lot of things i have to do in the next few following weeks. i've been procrastinating too much lately. i'll try to limit my video watching. today my mom, my grandpa, my aunt, and my cousin and i watched the movie Fireproof at church it was really good. i encourage you to all who read this to watch the movie. its really good. for badminton, my mom yelled at me for not telling her that i was illegible to play at the tournament because we bought a new racket for it. i really hate tss. why does someone from a private school have to go through this trouble of a transfer form and reason. my teacher supervisor didn't really make it clear enough of how urgent it was of the form, she didn't even tell me about the form and she really should have told me a lot earlier. in fact the school should have told newcomers or at the beginning of the school year. i shouldn't have to wait until a get into a sport.

Quote #5 Jill Wolf

Everyone was meant to share God's all-abiding love and care; He saw that we would nee to know a way to let these feelings show... So God made hugs.

Quote #4 Anonymous

A true friend thinks of you when all others are thinking of themselves

April 7 Verse 1 John 3:18

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

just something

i was dead before i met you. i was born the day you loved me and my love for you will keep me alive. - Charmed

Quote #3 George Webster Douglas

The best in me and the best in you
Hailed each other because they knew
That always and always since life began
Our being friends was part of God's plan

fights

whenever i hear loud voices or people yelling, i feel hurt. like i don't like quarrels, i don't like people calling me things that i don't like to be called that are not true or even true. my family fights a lot. there's not really a week where they don't yell, raise their voice, or fight. i hate it so much. my heart hurts just being in my room listening to them because they are too loud. one thing that i want to question them about is that "Do you even remember what happened on this weekend, do you even know the meaning of this weekend, what you are doing now is not celebrating rather forgetting and stomping on this weekend's true meaning of what it was, is, and is to come, who was and is and is to come?"

April 3 Verse 1 Peter 1:22

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."

Fifty Reasons why Jesus Came to Die verses Reason #1

I have started to read the book "50 reasons why Jesus came to die" by John Piper. I won't write everything it says there, but just the verses and notes from it and I will do it per year every time Easter and Good Friday comes because probably none of you have the book, but it is a very good book if you are able to buy it, but this will help if you don't want to, but its a very good book.

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us. "Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree." Galatians 3:13

"God put Christ forward as a propitiation by His blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in His divine forbearance He had passed over former sins." Romans 3:25

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for ours sins." 1 John 4:10

- God is both just and loving, in which His love is willing to meet the demands of His justice

- sin is dishonouring God by preferring or loving other things over Him and acting on these preferences when we should love Him with all our heart, soul, and might (Deuteronomy 6:5)(Romans 3:23)

- the Creator is infinitely worthy of respect, admiration, and loyalty, but the failure to love is treason basically, which eliminates happiness and defames God. The result in doing this is because God is a just God. (Romans 6:23) (Ezekiel 18:4)

- there is a holy sin over sin, in which not to punish would be unjust. (Galatians 3:10) (Deuteronomy 27:26)

- God won't stop at this no matter how holy the curse is, He will go through with it, but still won't be content so He sends His Son. (Galatians 3:13)

- Propitiation is the removal of God's wrath by providing a substitute, in which this is Himself (Jesus Christ), but He doesn't just cancel the curse or punishment, but also absorbs and diverts it from us to Himself meaning His wrath was just and spent, not withdrawn

What a Life

its good friday. i'm just feeling hopeless or basically useless. i'm at home, but i want to be doing more, but i just can't because i just don't feel like leaving the house. at open mic i was nervous, it was worse than leading worship and i just didn't feel like i did a good job though people said i was great, but i sure didn't feel that way. my work is just lying around of which i need to start working on, which makes me stressed because i am lazy. life just has to change.

Quote #2 Douglas R. Stuva

Celebration is more than a happy feeling. Celebration is an experience. It is liking others, accepting others, laughing with others.

March 30 verse - 2 Thessalonians 1:3

"We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing."

Quote #1 Alan Loy McGinnis

"The best friendship have weathered misunderstanding and trying times. One of the secrets of a good relationship is the ability to accept the storms."

Isaiah 40:28-31 (NIV/KJV) Everlasting God

"Hast thou not known? Hast thou not hear, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and the shall, walk and no faint." (KJV)

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

today

so today was really depressing. i need to focus on God, but i miss tc so much especially the worship team. though its not like i won't see them again, but its because i want to spend everyday with them because yesterday and the times we shared together was amazing and fun. i really hate being the only "young" person with a bunch of adults and old people, but no offense its just really awkward and boring. i'm so stressed or i feel stressed at least, i just don't want to do my homework or my history essay at least, its already late, but i don't really care. i'm actually getting 60s so its pretty bad.

This Night

tc worship potluck was amazingly fun. now this make me even more sure that i don't regret meeting any of the worship members or even signing up for tc. this was the most fun i've ever had in my life. this makes me miss everyone more. i hope we continue to spend time together, but i know i will definitely see them around especially the junior worship team. i love all of you so much. may God's love surround us forever because we know He will. let His peace rest on our heads. may we be filled with joy as we grow as Christians and spend time with each other and those close to each of us that we love so much. let us learn to love all as God does. from eating to we get full to playing pingpong to listening to music to playing xbox to finalfantasy to blogging to rockband to facebook to earthhour to the park to running to scaring to frisbee to that game we played in the park that i don't know the name of to the swings to foggy glasses to jeff's birthday to cupcakes to happybirthdays to pictures of memories shared together to watching tv and finally to the love of God that brought us together!

TC and school

so its been a while since i journaled, but its never too late. so tc was an amazing experience that i don't regret. i miss it so much. i have free saturdays and we are organizing a lot of events with tc people like reunions and dinners, which will be fun. so this is a new semester though its pretty late saying that. at the beginning i was doing pretty bad in everything, but i think in french i'm doing better and everything else is pretty much going downhill though in english nothing has happened so i can't say anything. history and food and nutrition is failing i need to work harder to at least get in the 70s.school after tc is really depressing. people are still feeling after effects from tc being it emotionally or physically because people got food poisoning and colds/coughs. i know i'm still affected by my cold. history i just hate because i don't need it in my future. literacy test is soon, i'm not totally as worried as i am with my homework. Easter and my sister's birthday is coming, which will be meaningful. dennis gave so much i don't know how to thank him, but it doesn't really change how i feel about how he thinks. my friends will be baptized bless them. i decided to start working out again. i'm going to try a tad harder in school. i'm hoping i can go back to pca. not really a big fan of staying in thornhill.